10 Ways to Help Your Young Adult Mentally Prepare for College- Part 2
By Eileen Der Aris, Certified Life Coach for Young Adults
In last month’s newsletter, I spoke about preparing young adults emotionally and gave 5 strategies that could help strengthen your young adult’s emotional skills. If you didn’t receive it, go to https://www.risingadultscoaching.com/blog/ to read part 1. In today’s times, these young people need as much emotional support as they can get. As promised, here are 5 more.
- GRATITUDE
It’s incredible how this one little word helps so much! Especially during tough times, gratitude gives us another perspective of the “big picture” and helps us see that the world is about more than just us. Teens and transitioning young adults are very concerned about their futures. By looking together to find beauty, whether in nature or a random act of kindness, gratitude teaches young adults (and us parents) that their problems may not be worth making themselves sick over once compared to what is going on in the world. It is normal to worry about roommate situations and which classes to pick, but finding what to be grateful for will help put things in perspective. Do this as an activity together with love, not as a “should.”
- ENCOURAGE THEM TO SET GOALS
Setting goals doesn’t have to be complicated, as it’s not a New Year’s resolution. When you have something you are working towards, goals give you a lot more motivation to stay on track. They do not only need to be about grades. They can be goals to join a club, work out, eat well, write in journals, etc. Suggest that they write them down somewhere so they can monitor their progress. It’s not meant for guilt if they don’t get them all accomplished but as a tool to stay motivated and change what they are doing if the goals are not met. This skill can ease anxiety for now and for the future.
- CONNECT WITH ROOMMATE(S)
Speaking with new roommates may seem obvious to some, but not everyone. Whether your young adult has chosen their roommate or had the school do it for them, make sure they speak with them. During COVID, it’s harder for people to get together, so they should get together virtually if nothing else. They can get to know one another and coordinate what to bring and what not to bring. Discuss things like keeping tidy, who is an early riser, and who is a late riser. Something like that is good to get out of the way in the beginning. And remember, if they are freshmen or a transfer, their roommate is most likely just as nervous as they are!
- CREATE A BUDGET
Going away is an excellent opportunity to learn how to budget money. Sit down with your young adult and discuss how much money you both believe they will need per week. Consider their expenses and come up with an amount together. Have them budget the money so they can learn how to do it on their own. Of course, the amount can change, but the whole idea is for them to learn independence. If your young adults are using their own money, this is even more of an opportunity to learn how to budget appropriately. Your young adults can get an idea of how much they spend overall and where they might need to cut back from so they can spend more on something else. Budgeting is an essential skill that so many young adults are struggling with today. Gift them this opportunity to learn now.
- LEARN TO BE OPENMINDED TOGETHER
Your young adult probably has not been to many different places too far from home. If they have, then you might have seen the advantages of being exposed to new ideas. Going away to school is also exciting because they meet people from all over the world with different values and ways of life. Some may be appealing, and others may not, but being openminded can open the door to fantastic opportunities and an appreciation for uniqueness. Your son or daughter may find more in common with someone than they thought, which makes relationships much more manageable. Modeling an appreciation for differences will be very helpful for their adjustment to their new world.
As I said last month, this transition is tough for both parents and students, especially with the unknown ahead of us. We have seen how many young adults struggle with anxiety and depression. Preparing ahead of time with some emotional awareness tips can help your young adult feel more at east during these difficult times. Since young people don’t always take well to be, “taught” by their parents, try modeling and doing these actions WITH your child. It is a great opportunity for bonding before they leave. As always, feel free to contact me for ways to talk to your young adults so they will actually hear you!
Stay safe.
With Warmth and Respect,
Eileen
Eileen Der Aris, MS, Ed, CPC, ELI-MP
Rising Adults Coaching
Certified Life Coach for Young Adults
www.RisingAdultsCoaching.com
Eileen@Risingadultscoaching.com
516-650-2540